Being an adult has a lot of responsibilities, and yet, so many of us want to grow up fast. Why? What are we wanting or looking for? Why can't we just enjoy the NOW? Why can't we WAIT for progress? These things are natural tendencies for us humans. But, we fall into the trap of being self centered and rush for things.
My parents were at viewed many times as the "Perfect Couple". They loved to dance together. If there was any event that had dancing, they were there. They even took their 5 kids ( I am the oldest of 5), taught us songs and choreographed dances to go with the songs......MANY TIMES!!! LOL.. this was my life, this was "normal" to me.
My mom sewed us girls matching dresses and the boys had matching ties or vests to go with it. Every Saturday night, my mom would wrap our hair in sponge curlers, and we were NOT aloud to touch it. When we woke up Sunday morning, she would take the sponge rollers out, tease our hair to High Heaven, and put it half up with a big bow. Oh my goodness, as I got older.... I DREADED SATURDAY evenings..LOL!!
It never failed, every Monday, My parents had Family Home Evening. This was one day a week, to teach us lessons on church principles from the scriptures, ( but we also prayed and read scriptures every day). But, one Monday in particular, we had a lesson on Faith. We had to close our eyes and trust our Dad to catch us. I guess you could say that my faith/trust in my dad never faltered. Oh, and I will never forget how much my mom loved her fake nails. I loved when she played the Piano and you would hear the "click click" noise from the nails hitting the keys on the piano.
Every birthday, My mom would make waffles and homemade strawberry jam; it was more a syrup base, and she saved some strawberries to add on top. It was so sugary, but SO GOOD. We would have whip cream on top of it with a big glass of milk. The best part was, the week of your birthday, we got to open one present a day until your birthday. So they didn't just celebrate it for one day, it was the WHOLE WEEK. It was always so exciting.
My parents loved to go camping. We did a lot of camping adventures. ( I love and hate camping all the same time) I need a comfortable bed, and a flushable toilet these days ( or lets be honest, give me a tall tree or a thick bush and I will just pee behind there. Its so much more sanitary than a disgusting latrine. LOL.
My parents dressed up with us for Halloween, and I LOVED IT. That is probably why I love dressing up and why I love Halloween. (just not the scary stuff, just the fun stuff)
As you can see, I am now in the same spot as my mom. There are many pictures of us with my dad, because my mom is taking the pictures. I know she asked now and then to be in some, but I don't think it bothered her to not be in them; she just LOVED taking pictures. My whole life was videoed with the video camera and captured with a FILM camera. I think that is why I LOVE taking pictures. I love taking detail shots and capturing every day moments.
My parents had a strong direction in teaching us how to work. They taught us at a young age how to do chores INSIDE and OUTSIDE! Everybody always had a job.
If we were doing dishes; someone washed, someone rinsed, and someone dried. Someone always tried to call the rinsing job first.. ( the easiest one) LOL....
When we were outside, someone pulled weeds, someone was watering plants, someone else was shoveling ( in my case ) manure for the garden, someone mowed the grass, we all had jobs.
I could share so many more memories in my life, but as I got older, I started recognizing challenging times my parents faced.
Many Couples have trying times. And they grow stronger. And some do not..... My parents tried for many, many years. And then the unthinkable happened.
They got divorced.
I don't care how old you are when your parents get divorced, it is NEVER EASY.
My husband was 10 when his parents divorced and I was 35. There are many circumstances that divorce is needed. And other circumstances where it happened, just because. Being an adult is hard. Communicating is not easy. There's never a time where she's right and he's wrong or he's right and she's wrong. It should always ne a time where you TRY to UNDERSTAND each others side, even if it means you don't agree with what they are saying. You are a TEAM, YOU need to RESPECT each others input.
Is this my therapy to talk about all of this? MAYBE.
Am I hoping that this helps others to remember the good times and not just the bad? YES.
Is this an overnight fix? NO!!
Do I want to go back and freeze time to what I remember to be the "Good Times?" OF COURSE!!
But, I have a new Chapter in my life, and I have a LOT of LEARNING and growing to do.
My mom remarried quickly. My mom's husbands name is Garett. Garett is an incredible person. He is funny, has a great sense of humor, pleasant, a lot of fun to be around with, Loves and idolizes my mom.
Here is another hard chapter..... Having someone else being married to your mom. I have NOTHING negative against Garett, I LOVE his kids; Laura, Shari, and Brandon ( who are my age) and they all have beautiful families of their own. I really LOVE meeting new people all the time and believe it is just as hard for the other side of the family as it is for my side to except new change into their lives. So why not open your arms and say; " I'm glad we all could be an extended addition to the family." It doesn't help to fight against it. It only gets better if you WORK to STRENGTHEN it. Was is hard and a massive whirl wind when my mom got engaged and then married so fast? Yes!! That was a challenging day for me, emotionally. I struggled with it for months. But, I am getting stronger and I am strengthening my relationships with Garetts family,whom I LOVE and adore.
My dad has struggled for a bit, which I think is normal. But he has also thrown his frustrations to us kids. In those situations, it is hard to swallow and to consistently take, especially when it is coming from your dad and you know that is not who you remember your dad being. I believe he has regretted many choices that he has made in his life that have led to this, but as his daughter, I am here to love him and remind him that he is loved. Does that excuse his behavior to us kids? NO; but giving gentle and consistent reminders in what he is doing, there is always HOPE for a change.......a CHANGE IN HEART.
Doctrine and Covenants section 64:9-11
9: Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10: I, The Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11: And ye ought to say in your hearts --Let God Judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.
26: But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
If the Lord is teaching me through the scriptures to forgive. I need to forgive. I need to forgive both of my parents for the pain that happened and repeatedly happens. I think there were many instances where they never recognized what they did or what they were doing. These incidences ended up having a huge effect on us kids, us siblings, and many of them were painful to endure.
Why am I sharing all of this personal information and insight? Well, many of you may not care, but many of you may learn from this and adapt it into your lives.
I want to remind you, that no matter your family circumstances, getting pictures done is so vital. It is not only important for you, but for your kids, and reminding them the memories that were shared and created. If you felt the love and laughter through my pictures as a young child, imagine the feelings you will recreate when looking at your beautiful family pictures that I can capture for you.
Everyone has a different story, and no matter what, having a picture of the one's you love, is something you will have and cherish for a lifetime.
SHARE with ME your thoughts, frustrations and stories that you have gone through. I do not judge any pain or heartache you have gone through. I just want to help re-build the happy and positive memories that you should hold forever.
THIS IS NOT EASY, but remember to stay strong my friend!!